Spooks

         "If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority."
                                                        Yugoslav Proverb.

I am concerned about the suggestion that Godzone passports could be withdrawn on the
advice of government spooks. It is not the New Zealand way of doing things. It's totally
unfair and could endanger our international non reputation. We're not a cot case and don't occupy the same hateful basket as the US and allies. Godzone is supposed to be a democracy, not an authoritarian regime. We don't need dictators in the Land of the Long White Mortgage. Outski I say. Go back To Russia with Love, Comrade Spook.

There are a number of government spy agencies in Godzone unknown to the general public. Just what useful work they perform is beyond conjecture. I wonder if they follow me around when I go into town for a few wines? Do they sit outside my home in that blue 4x4? Do they bug my phone, scan my email and monitor my Internet usage? Does my dog's collar have a seeing eye camera? Is my coffee grinder a Brazilian explosive device?

I guess I'll never know. My only crime is to exercise my right as a NZ citizen and express a legitimate opinion as permitted by Section 14 of the NZ Bill of Right's Act. I break no laws and don't waste my time worrying about the Secret Squirrels of a wannabe all-powerful but limited state. But under the proposed legislation, I could have my passport cancelled (remind me to print some more) and legitimate travel plans hijacked in the name of antiterrorism.

I wouldn't know a terrorist if I fell over one in a drunken stupor and haven't seen Carlos since Vienna. Now that they've locked up my old drinking mate, Saddam, life is becoming exceedingly boring. Maybe I'll take up pencil sharpening for a hobby. But there's bound to be a spook law against pencil sharpening. I might use a pencil to scribble a note to someone that could be a terrorist disguised as a moustache. This could be considered anti Kiwi or something equally seditious.   Considering I can't read my own hand writing, they could claim my incoherent scribbling is proof that I'm a quadruple agent of some alien power. I'm awaiting the call-up in a foreign language and when notified by dead letter box, will spring into action and write a seditious letter to the newspapers condemning the local council for not repairing the potholes. Thus, I am an inherent danger to Godzone and deserve to be penalised by cancelling my passport(s).

To be honest, I'm an undercover sleeper. Have been all my life. I haven't missed a night's sleep in decades. My duvet is most comforting and I sleep undercover with a clear conscience and my fox terrier to keep me warm. Now sleeping with a fox terrier has got to be an anti-government conspiracy. No doubt I'm plotting to take over the library and read Jack London's novel, The Call of the Wild. Also, I love listening to Paul Robson CDs and watching Charlie Chaplin's black and white movies. Their names were on the US list of security risks and regarded as anti everything stupid in the 1950's. This could prove to the spooks that I'm another James Dean. A Kiwi rebel without a cause. Perhaps I deserve to die in a car crash? Bear in mind that the spooks don't have to prove anything. The accusation will be enough to lock me up for life without charging me with anything. All they have to say is that I'm a security risk. Decency personified?

But fear not. The real danger to NZ is not people like me. Put the blame where it truly lies. The fear of eminent danger has always been used by politicians to control the populace. In NZ's case, they now want total jurisdiction and the increasing number of aiding and abetting spooks is designed to reinforce this ancient hypothesis. Naturally, we're told it's in the national interest and that we have to be protected from fox terriers. Another dubious proposition to be made legal? Guess who suffers and pays for everything? Have another guess as to who benefits financially?