Inappropriate?

29th April 02

     'Life is but a game they say.
     So play it all you will.
     Have another drink my friend
     But don't send me the bill.'

     Never before in the annals of New Zealand history has the inappropriate been more
relevant.
     I awoke this morning to find that nothing has changed. It's bound to be raining
somewhere and probably blowing a gale in Wellington. New utterances from the Beehive and more head rolling indicated.
     'An announcement will be made later today regarding the new Maori TV boss.' The
PM grins. Nodding confidentially and smiling at the camera is an old trick.
     'I can't tell you anything but expect the worst. The SIS have warned me not to leak
inappropriate information. It wouldn't be in the national interest. But watch the TV news.'
     Oh dear. The poor old Maori are in the poo again. It's politically incorrect to criticize
anything they do but their imported boss doesn't quite live up to our expectations. So we
have a go at him instead.
     So he might have exaggerated his credentials a little. So what? Don't we all. Have
you ever overheard a conversation in the pub that wasn't mainly lies? Bullshit will beat brains anytime. Now where have I heard that before?
     Trouble is, we're running out of people wanting to be CEO's. Our talent pool is running out of water and only those accustomed to paddling are available. So we advertise
internationally and should not be surprised if the applicants fall over occasionally. Tis only
human nature for both sides to hope for the best.
     History has always been created by imaginative lies.
     'We will fight them on the beaches and throw beer bottles at them.'
     'The Third Reich will last a thousand years.'
     'Watergate is a lie.'
     'I did not have sex with that woman.'
     'I'm a talented artist.'
     There's nothing wrong with imagination. It provides the fantasy of daydreaming.
Charles Dicken's Great Expectations? And where would we be without inventiveness and
hopes for the future?
     Thump hairy chest. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane.' Civilisation in the, get the hell out of my
cave or I'll bop you with my club, mentality.
     What's wrong with, 'have an apple, Jane? It will be good for you. Trust me, I know
what I'm doing. I am the Garden of Eden. Snigger, snigger.'
     Because life can be so boring, perhaps we should relish those who have the courage to
bullshit. For they have much to contribute toward our lifestyle of impractical irrelevancies.