adventures

An oversized hulk called The Honky is our villain. Two fisted, and one-eyed when it comes to the short and curlies. His adventures are based on his experience as a publican during the booze-barn days of NZ's pubs. The Honky is reluctant to admit guilt, but his children keep asking, where did you meet my mother? Most conveniently, he can't remember. And doesn't want to. In his day, pubs were contolled by violence or the threat of it. The sex was only stress relief. Never arrested, his broken fingers have healed and he can hold his wine glass with ease. He's long run out of fingers and toes to count his many grandchildren. He's also a very convincing liar. All publicans and grandfathers are!

The Honky dies, meets God and is told to write down his earthly experiences. He relates various incidents including unavoidable deaths and the odd gunfight. Major brawls with several Maori gangs and his rescue of a rape victim. In a Auckland pub he seduces the office girl to get her inside gen. How else can a man settle into a new job? He sets a disraught housewife on her back to calm her nerves. He meets Orgy-Judy and regrets the whole affair when gang raped at a party. Ticked off by the police for excesive violence, he runs for cover under the nearest skirt. He's set upon by a martial arts expert and flattens the poor sod in seconds. To escape he hides on Norfolk Island but a couple of women follow. A soljourn on the West Coast follows with the fattest lady in the world for Sunday brunch. Finally a teenager ties him in knots on a Greek Island.
And God forgives him?