Stadium to nowhere

"If politicians speak for the people, they should know when to be quiet."  Broughton As the land of social repression, excessive regulations and high taxation: New Zealand has joined the fantasy world and decided to build a massive sports stadium.  Apparently Godzone is to host the 2011 World Cup Rugby Tournament.  Rugby is a colonial import from Mother England and dates back to the era when the Maori stopped eating each other and objected to the Pakeha (white man) stealing their country, that they had previously stolen for the Maoriori using enslavement and cannibalism.  Rugby apparently caused fewer deaths and they could kick the shit out of the Pakeha and get away with it. A better name for rugby would be Kill or be Killed.  Two 15 man teams declare war over an egg-shaped ball made from pigskin filled with hot air.  The referee blows the whistle and then it's all go.  Kick, punch, stomp and tackle the other side in attempt grab the hot air and score points by grounding the dead pig behind the opposition's goal posts.  Logically, it would be commonsense to give each player his own dead pig, as this would inevitably limit the violence.  Rugby is NZ's nation sport along with television watching, beer drinking and teenagers rioting in the streets. Now the politicians have decided that a stadium seating 60,000 ardent rugby fans with painted faces, screaming blue murder and throwing beer cans, is essential if NZ is to survive in the civilised world.  As politicians create no wealth by their actions, they have dug into the public purse by reducing hospital services, thus creating a $11.5 billion budget surplus. Bingo, instant money to spend on tribal warfare called rugby.  Auckland is NZ's biggest city and its container port handles the bulk of NZ imports and exports.  Thus it is the ideal place to build an ego driven Stadium to Nowhere.  They conveniently forget that there's not a stadium in the world that pays its way hosting sports competitions or rock concerts.  Obviously the stadium will be given a politically inspired name, such as the Labour Party People's Stadium. Then came, think of a number from the Minister of Tribal Warfare.  How about $500 million, sound about right?  Not so, claims those experienced with money losing stadiums worldwide. Try $1.5 billion, then add inflation and costs created by shifting the container facilities elsewhere.  Brilliant idea, shouts the Auckland City Mayor, anxious for his name to be remembered with a marble statue in his own likeness.  Not so, wails the Auckland Regional Council.  Stadiums and statues are monuments to the living dead, so let the tax payer cough up.  You'll get nothing from us.  We have to think of our ratepayers and besides, our salary increases are overdue. Eden Park, the old rugby stadium is in a residential area, and too inconvenient, proclaims the Minister of Tribal Warfare.  There's plenty of parking in Auckland Harbour.  All the patrons cars need are rubber floats to stop them sinking.  We'll put a tax on rubber floats to pay the running costs.  I will be remembered as the man who invented driving on water.  I'll be famous for my floating intellect.  I might even give myself a Knighthood.  My head is size 106, that's twice the national average.  I'm very deserving.  Serving the peasants must have its just rewards. Considering the Wembley Stadium debacle in London, commonsense dictates building a $2 billion stadium in four years is next to impossible.  Sadly political egotists make the rules and as always, the common people will pay through the nose.  One ponders if NZ winning the Rugby World Cup is guaranteed by the Minister of Tribal Warfare and the Mayor of Auckland City?