"Men are respectable only as they respect." Ralph Waldo Emerson Wouldn't it be interesting if a man could legally have more than one wife? The noble art of polygamy has been around for a long time and the Children of Israel were enthusiastic exponents. The sexual facet would be intriguing but there's also a practical side to possessing multiple wives. Just imagine that Wife One shows talent managing the microwave and washing machine. Wife Two excels with the stove, shopping and tending the vegetable garden. Wife Three revels in cleaning, mowing the lawns and washing the car. This would leave the overworked male to exercise the couch and issue instructions that make things run smoothly. 'Pass the channel changer please, One.' The kids could help their respective mothers and the household would run like clockwork. The women's workload would naturally be two-thirds less than normal. With such a trivial workload they could work twelve hour days and provide an income many times the national average. This is to everybody's advantage. The husband could handle the family finances in his limited spare time. The children would benefit from having four parents and grow up with a comprehensive knowledge of human nature. They would be better equipped to handle life's diversities and qualify for the better paying jobs. Another boost to the bank balance. Obviously a large home would be necessary but with the wives and children's income, a mortgage would be a piece of cake, as it would be paid off a lot faster than normal. The husband would of necessity travel frequently and bring gifts of appreciation from far-flung corners of the globe. Wife One would get a wine decanter from Italy, Wife Two would receive a bottle of Ouzo from Greece and Wife Three would be most pleased with her beer mug from Southern Ireland. International travel would not be easy for the husband. Duty-free booze can be labourious at times. The tasting of indigenous samples from multiple countries could cause prolonged stress. On his return he would of necessity retire to the couch to retrain his integrity. 'Pass the Ouzo please, Two.' The family would be the social highlight of the neighbourhood. Feminine deputations could request advice about raising children in bulk and possible vacancies. It would be difficult for the husband to refuse such entreaties but respect for his wives is his first consideration. Better full-time devils than part-time devils. But one must be charitable initiating devils. 'Whose turn is it tonight, Three?' Unfortunately, the authorities would be against such a family. For some reason they seek to exercise control over other people's lives. The happy union would be declared immoral, illegal and would make the women fat. This is ridiculous. The husband has prolonged experience in making his wives fat. Being more or less couch-bound, he doesn't need authority figures criticizing his exercising of his wives sympathies. One feels for the husband. It must be demanding keeping one's balance on the couches of life. Shalom. |