Godzone Corruption

Godzone, gem of the South Pacific, is the 4th least corrupt nation in the world.  Not bad for a mere four million people and forty-five million sheep.  I think Kiwis should pat themselves on the back and celebrate by barbecuing lamb chops and drinking the local wine. The country could party for years without running out of either.      The problems New Zealand faces are minuscule compared with most of the world.  No one suggests that the Prime Minister is corrupt, even if she mistakenly signs paintings she hasn't created and donates them to charity.  She cannot be regarded as the terminator of the good times nor is she a political robot.  Actually she's highly intelligent and streets ahead of the opposition.  She doesn't encourage war games and we haven't actually invaded another country for several months.  Naturally, she calls it peace keeping and nation rebuilding to justify the national debt.  Indeed, she goes out of her way to promote herself as an average person with a bent for publicity.      One politician was accused of having underage sex when he was a youth.  He was able to prove his age at the time but his career stalled while the non issue was debated. Unfortunately, the public airing caused a few moralistic tongues to wag.  Then again, what teenage male takes slightest notice of the legal niceties of willing sex partners?      Political correctness is a different ball game.  But there's nothing corrupt about being stupid and running with the pack.  It's politically accepted these days.  Although it doesn't make it right that living at public expense is somehow more important than honesty and decency.  Although, keeping up with international political trends is inevitable in a country where the pace of life is so slow you fall asleep at the polling stations.      Now that local schools are closing because of the declining birth rate, I think the redundant facilities should be used to teach the art of groping to aspiring politicians.  You know the sort of thing.  A nice bum squeeze, a full throated breast grab or a little tickle between extremities.  Obviously, fondness for women are perquisite for political aspirants.  It shows they have the common touch and feel for the little people.      I might even offer my services as a tutor for female aspirants if the incrementation is worth the two handed effort.  I'm sure I could do a good job because I've had many years experience, possess very sensitive fingers and can lie through my teeth.      It would be good for the economy to have bored housewives employed as political gropees.  Just imagine a tickled-pink housewife arriving home from work.      'Honey, I'm home.'      'Did you have a good day?'      'Of course.'      'I trust you enjoy your work?'      'Most definitely.  I get immense inner satisfaction from a job well done.  Some of the political students are hugely inspirational.  They've asked me to work overtime tomorrow night.  There's quite a few of them so I'll be a bit stuffed when I get home.  What's for tea, Honey?'