Godzone Democracy

     "Democracy" is a catchword and designed to moralize political expediency. Come
what may, we politicians know what's good for the public. We believe that incomprehensible words and expressions of good intent are enough to keep the beastly peasants occupied and noses to the tax-paying grindstone. Obviously, taxes are very important because they pay for our trips to the U.N. and the White House. But what useful purpose does democracy serve?
      Goddamn the peasants! Don't they realize politicians are owed a living? Surely, the selfless sufferers of opinion polls are entitled to a little consideration? It's not easy to raise our employment perks to more than the average wage without the pesky public screeching like banshees.
     The uneducated peasants are greedy and complain endlessly. Why should they have elective surgery the year before they're due to die? Why should they have caesarian births because the other way might hurt a little? After all, they're allowed to vote once every three years. What the hell more do they want? If only Kiwis would realize that they live in luxury and residing in Godzone (New Zealand) is freedom personified. Food is cheap and the home garden can grow almost anything. There are multiple choices for families wanting to dine out at Christmas. McDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut are all Kiwi-owned and employ a lot of teenagers. The young never had that choice twenty years ago, so democracy is obviously working.
     The taxes are cheap. Our spin-doctors came up with that statement, so it must be true. But even with the hidden flow-on taxes, 87 percent is a cheap price to pay for living in a Pacific island paradise surrounded by foreign fishing fleets. Godzone's weather and our subliminal edicts are benign, and if that's not democracy in action, what the hell is it? The wind's free to blow from any angle, eh?
     The average Kiwi is an ignoramus and totally blind to the fact that we politicians are
superior thinkers. We must be, or why would we devote our lives to demanding public
service? Surely, the peasants don't believe that nonsense about elitism being the cause of their slithering living standards? How stupid can they get? Our wages are only four times the average, with free travel and a miserable tax-free allowance for kissing those yucky babies. Yet we are held in contempt for promoting the good things in life. Don't the peasants understand George Orwell's doublespeak?
     In the political world, it takes time for nothing to happen. Nobody knows the future
until it arrives, and logically, there's no point of doing anything in the meantime. So we bide our time and hope that the United States will protect us from those terrible foreigners.
     It's democracy in action that some people don't have jobs because they live in the
wrong part of the country. If they all lived in the same place, the infrastructure couldn't cope and Kiwis would think they were deprived. Don't they know that modern roads, sewerage and fresh water cost a fortune? Unsealed country roads are romantic enough for the peasants and they can always dig their own long-drops and install rainwater tanks.
     It's totally wrong that Kiwis should write to the media about lack of opportunity for
the young. With the world as their oyster, the young have a glorious future just as long as they repay their student loans before they disappear overseas. If they return, they can thank their lucky stars for taxation that will keep them more or less alive when they grow old.
     Godzone is a benevolent society that looks after its own, especially during an election year when promises flow thick and fast. Self-interest is the latest fist thumper to rattle the peasant's subconscious. And self-interest is always beneficial.
     Democracy dictates that we have the right to state: think not what we can do for our
country, but what our country can do for us. Charity begins at home.