God's Will?
Made in China
"Lack of something to feel important about is almost the greatest tragedy a man may have."          Arthur McRean

Oh my God!  I've just realised that New Zealand has weapons of mass destruction.  No doubt highly intelligent George, will raise his bushy eyebrows and sniff distastefully.  Just imagine.

"My Evil partners in Axis.  Unknown to the international intelligence community including the CIA Export Division.  New Zealand, the gateway to Antarctica, has developed WMD unparalleled in the world.  My adviser (Daddy) informs me that such weapons are a danger to democracy and must be stopped in America's interest.  It is not right that such a puny country should possess the power to potentially destroy our version of democracy.  So we are going to update democracy to make it more profitable to the IRS."

Thump fist and point dramatically.

"It is essential that democracy be allowed to flourish and feed the drug habits of Americans. Henceforth, after my secret June attack on Iran, New Zealand will be subject to certain restrictions.  I have advised the American Embassy in Antarctica to advise the New Zealand Government that such weapons are not acceptable to the United Nations and to expect reprisals."

Pause and sip water.  Wag fingers pointedly.

"As from last year, no American-made autos will be exported to New Zealand.  Only autos assembled overseas will be permitted.  To this aim, I have instructed General Motors and other foreign owned companies, to offshore their assembly plants to take advantage of higher labour costs in some place called Asia.  The working people of America are more important than a country at the bottom of the world where the light switches are upside down and autos drive on the wrong side of the road."

Turn towards camera and smile knowingly for three seconds.  Loud cheers from Rent a Mob.

"New Zealand should be warned that we are sending C Rice Pudding to lay down the law in.........(look at notes) ........ humm ah, Wellington.  All freeway exits will be plugged with Subway sandwiches and KFC bred cockroaches.  New Zealand will feel the force of democracy second hand.  The unemployed people of America deserve more Homer Simpson. I aim to oblige."  Turn towards Aide and whisper from corner of mouth.  "Did I get that right?"

"Further more.  Democracy will be enforced in New Zealand by imposing five cents per quarter gallon at the gas pumps.  Full employment will be sabotaged as people dependent on government handouts are more compliant.  Should this fail, I have instructed the 671st US Marine Band to invade.  A military rendition of St Louis Blues should do the trick.  I am advised that the New Zealand Army is closed at weekends, so we will invade at seven in the morning on Sunday December 7th.   Our code encryption is impossible to decipher.  The Kiwis will never know we're coming."        

Superior smile to Rent a Mob.  Raise both arms to Confidante in Heaven.

"God Bless China for lending us the money allowing us to enjoy the biggest deficit in the world.  America is invincible.  Long live the Simpsons and re runs of Dallas."

I guess internet columns are regarded by some, as weapons of mass destruction.