In Remembrance of Ashtrays

On the 4th December 2004, the NZ Government will ban smoking in all bars and restaurants

Letters to The Editor.  Leader Newspaper. Upper Hutt. NZ Sir,      Having won a fortune on Lotto ($10), I'm feeling generous.  Come December I'm going to open a rest home for redundant ashtrays.  Having served mankind faithfully for thousands of years, they deserve a decent retirement.  It's sad they are regarded as politically incorrect but society has progressed backwards and stupidity is now the accepted norm. The home will be staffed by qualified ashtray cleaners left over from the local bars and restaurants.  Each ashtray will have it's own rest area and receive all the normal love and care one reserves for faithful servants. Bus trips will be organised to visit the factory of their birth and renewed friendship with their unemployed moulders will be heartening to watch.  Regular visits to their old bars will recall the good old days of gainful employment with nostalgia.  I'm also going to open an ashtray crematorium and scatter their ashes on Main Street.  It's the least I can do for old acquaintances.                          Unfortunately, our politicians have become sillier than ever and major disruption to reality is inevitable.  It doesn't make a lot of sense but that's normal in today's world.