The Alienation Act

"Responsibility walks hand in hand with capacity and power."                                                           Josiah Gilbert Holland. I have a dream that I'm on a mission from God.  Come to think of it, I am God.  This gives me the moral authority to boss my fellow Kiwis around.  Bossing Kiwis is God's job.  And I'm damn good at it.  I know this for a fact because I've consulted the expert and I agree with me.  This justifies everything I want justified. If you dare disagree, I've invented the Declaration of Alienation Independence Act to keep you under control.  You'll be bombarded with Kiwi Fruit and mutton chops for weeks.  Then you'll be locked up with naked women, suffer the inevitable consequences and forced to wear a hood.  Naked women are hard task masters and weak knees will be the obligatory punishment.  All submissions for Mercy must be accompanied by $10,000,000 in cash.  A stamped, self-addressed envelope is essential for Divine Retribution.  But no correspondence will be entered in to. You will not be charged with anything because you are an enemy combatant.  As such, no legal representation is allowed.  You doubted my word, so suffer Little Children.  Your family will not have visiting rights, in fact they will never be informed as to your whereabouts. Officially you will cease to exist.  Out of sight, out of mind.  May the Devil condemn you, My Errant Children. My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to takeover the world in God's name.  Don't forget I am God and can takeover whatever I see fit.  I'm going to ripoff the Arab world and insist that the infidels worship me by donating all their oil revenues to my secret account in the Cayman Islands.  I have a number of corporations already organised to launder the untraceable cash.  They are my Disciples and will do what they're told or I'll do an Enron Last Supper and pussyfoot their pension funds. My irreproachable moral standards will ensure all women belong to me.  If there are any objections I will wag my finger and say, God is a Virgin and has never had sex.  It will be mandatory to believe my utterings.  In fact I will instruct the media to report only what I say. Nothing else will be permissible.  Especially fidelity.  As the only God, it will illegal to question my ulterior motives under threat of increased lack of integrity taxes.  But I assure you I have no ulterior motives apart from being the all-powerful fund raiser for God's reelection to Heavenly Duties.  Under God, I swear to my sincerity.  You may now pray for my forgiveness of your sins.  Bless You. My Heaven gazing underlings inform me that China is threatening to undermine my authority by refusing to lend me any more money.  My Pacifist Regiment will invade China with murderous intent looking for the weapons of mass destruction I sold them years ago.  They will disassemble the Great Wall and ship it back to New Zealand (Godzone) where it rightfully belongs.  The Great wall of China is of course a Kiwi invention. It will be mentioned in the extended Declaration of Alienation Independence Act that I haven't written yet.  The Chinese will be indoctrinated to my persuasions and manufacture all consumer items at $5 per month, less $4.50 administration fee.  I believe in being generous to my beloved followers because money is next to Godliness. In due course the entire world will belong to me and every man, woman and child will contribute to my benevolence fund.  I will create prosperity for myself and those who follow my On High instructions.  Those who choose to think evil thoughts will be exported to the United States and forced to speak with weird accents, drive on the wrong side of the road and smoke those smelly Camels. I will reign supreme and rule the world with much impassivity.  Be warned.  The Alienation Act is watching your every movement.  God, your Supreme Commander, hath spoken.